Ferguson is Best

This week's Nielsan TV ratings show that Craig Ferguson, the host of CBS's The Late Late Show, is ahead of Jimmy Fallon and Jimmy Kimmel in ratings following the late night greats Leno and Letterman.

Ferguson became the host of The Late Late Show in 2005 and significantly increased the viewership following the shows inception in 1995.

After watching all the Late Night shows at some time or other, I have to say Ferguson's is the best. While Leno is endearing, if there isn't a presidential scandal going on his jokes can often seem stale or flat. O'Bryan and Letterman do nothing for me, as one is too silly and the other too dull.

Ferguson, however, is right in the middle. He is sincere and honest, while still having enough comedy in his show to be entertaining.

For more info on Craig's Show check out the show's blog for more updates.

My Neuroses Feeds on Finals Fatigue

It is "Finals Fatigue" time yet again.

I swear finals come around almost as much as periods.

That's menstrual cycles, not punctuation.

Anyway, I have just finished a semester long project that required much planning, organization, detail, etc. And I kicked it in the handbook (which...for those of you who aren't taking Jodi Egerton's magazine writing class...is a new explitive meaning whatever it is that your being frustrated by to the point of ripping your hair out).

Now all that is left is one magazine article (almost finished), one tiny 'lil essay, and two tests.

Bring it on StEdwards.

Bring it on.

(Picture: www.readersdigest.ca)

Spacing

Sometimes...

My blog spaces itself out weird. I don't know why.

Oh Melanie...Your Face

As I exited my room this evening after having worked on a paper and talking to a friend, I noticed my sister was watching Working Girl.

All I have to ask is...Melanie...what the fuck happened to you?

Why did you do it?

You were soft and pretty. A real woman. Something we all could admire.

Then you caved to everyone else's opinion and got leaner, meaner, and just different.

I can't say I blame you. It's hard to ignore the media's beautiful stick thin representatives of the female population. And it gets to me too. I am way to critical of my own appearance and sometimes find myself wishing I looked like them.

But not too often.

So Melanie, I won't criticize. You've done me a favor today. Reminded me that I look fine the way I am.

(Picture: http://www.unoriginal.co.uk/gallery/plasticsurgery/melanie_griffith_joker.jpg)

Chicken Cheriyaki...Really?

So...I just saw that stupid Cherry Pepto Commercial again, and I have to say...

How stupid.

This is where pop culture and I have a problem. When the media takes something that should be soothing...or just plain boring...and turns it into a carnival of dumb.

This is where commercials go to die.

Why does Pepto-Bismol even need to be funny?

Without discussing the fact that Cherry Pepto tastes worse than the original Minty-Chalk flavor, I have to wonder what person or company came up with this commercial idea. Sure it's "kitschy", but it just isn't that entertaining. It's not even that family oriented.

What the hell is Chicken Cheriyaki anyway?

If anything I would think the commercial should be serious, since diarrhea tends to be less comical than regular gas.

I mean...everyone loves a good fart joke, but no one makes jokes about the runs.

It just bothers me that marketing techniques have become so silly. I realize they do capture the attention of the viewer, but doesn't that say something about the American public?

Is T.V. actually turning us into those people that laugh at bad jokes?

The Zune Kicks the I in the Pod

The Zune is pretty damn good.

Who knew?

I have a first generation Ipod Nano which is, after almost 4 years, dying a slow painful death. It will be time in the next few months to buy a new music player for my listening enjoyment.

Naturally I find the thought of an Ipod Touch exhilarating. They are sleek and sexy, and do things when you shake them. It is for these superficial reasons that I have been thinking about getting another Ipod.

In a conversation with my friend Mick (who is also my sister's boyfriend) I realized that I knew nothing about the MP3 player market. There are alot of different players out there, but the Ipods main "competition" (I say this lightly. The Ipod really doesn't have any competition) is Microsoft's Zune.

The Zune? That's a joke right?

Actually, the Zune isn't a joke at all. In fact, it is arguably better than the Ipod.

The facts are that the Zune is stronger, safer, sturdier, and just plain different.

And it ain't bad to be different.

Review of "Her Diamonds" by Rob Thomas

I have been a Rob Thomas fan since I was in middle school, loving Matchbox 20 and singing along with their lyrics in the car in the morning.

When Rob Thomas released his single Something to Be, I had fallen out of love with "pop" music having been in a place in my life where I preferred Seether to music that actually made some sense. It was months after the release of Something to Be that I actually listened to more than one track, and I found the CD to be quite moving (his song My My My has always made me think of my grandmother and I cannot listen to it without crying).

When I joined Twitter I began to follow Thomas, and sure enough he is funny and sweet and just about everything people describe him as being. I was excited for the release of his new single Her Diamonds from the upcoming album Cradlesong and sure enough I wasn't dissappointed.

The song is beautiful, and although I am not sure who it was written about (my guess is his wife) it blends a situation that everyone has experienced into a beautifully uplifting melody about a seemingly hopeless situation.

It is clear that Thomas is a sensitive loving man, a beautiful lyricist, and a very talented musician.

A review can be found by Mike Mcready here, and to listen to the song click here.

Grey Gardens

It looks like HBO's movie about the Beales of Grey Gardens is going to be quite a hit.

Before last week, I had never even heard of the documentary. Now after watching interviews, reading articles, and seeing clips I can honestly say I am very intrigued.

I find all people fascinating, but the most fascinating are those that live in a world slightly different than ours. Whether it is because of schizophrenia, poverty, or war it is always interesting for me to think about.

That's why one of my all time favorites is A Beautiful Mind.

Here is the link to Entertainment Weekly's latest article about the movie release.

Enjoy!

Waverly Because I will Pass Out Soon

I had a panic attack shopping for fabric today thanks to Better Homes and Gardens, Martha Stewart, and any other crafty television/and magazine dynasty that have turned everyday people into top designers.

The only problem is, these lovely ladies of design never told me how many options there actually were.

Muslin. Brocade. Silk. Satin. Stripes. Chintz. Embroidery.

I'm sorry... you lost me at muslin.

My mother, aunt, sister, and me were shopping for fabric for curtains and a valence early this afternoon. Upon entering the store this afternoon, my sister and I began to peruse bolts of fabric.

And then we found more fabric.

Then a bit more.

I totally panicked. The beautiful steely blues, sexy rich blacks, and mature golds and reds overtook my sense of sight and almost blinded me. While the reds and golds were the only colors that fit the color scheme of my apartment, I began to picture future color schemes in future houses.

And I panicked some more.

What if my future husband and I couldn't afford nice homemade curtains? What if I had to make them?

I CAN'T SEW!

My typical reaction to too many options when shopping is to wander off. If my sister asks me too many things during grocery shopping, I will wander to another aisle. When my mother and aunt kept asking questions I did the same thing.

AND FOUND MORE FABRIC!

And I found the good fabric too. I love Waverly fabrics. I grew up with them in my home as a child, and now I have the Waverly collection from Target in my room.

We finally picked and bought a fabric three hours after entering, and got enough to make the curtains and the valence (locating enough fabric was even more difficult).

I just thank heavens that I found out now that I need a designer to make choices for me.

Sandra Lee... I am at your beck and call.

(Fabric- Down the Lane: http://www.joann.com/joann/catalog.jsp?CATID=cat953850&PRODID=xprd944009)

Olive Oyl...I think not

...I think grease.

Sweet delicious grease.

Ladies and gentleman I just have to say, "I LOVE that chicken from Popeye's"!

While the Popeye's chicken may not be considered "pop culture" fried chicken certainly is.

"Pop-corn Culture" even (lame I know).

Southern fried chicken has definitely become a part of pop culture, however. I have it on good authority (my source will remain anonymous) that a former American Idol winner (also anonymous) ordered nothing but fried chicken for himself and his cast before a musical.

Seriously.

Just chicken.

I am so glad because I love it. I really do. I gave it up for Lent last year and dropped 20 pounds. The sad thing is though that southern fried chicken now has a racial stigma attached to it.

I heard a lot of jokes after President Obama was elected about everyone getting the "Presidential Special" down at their local Popeye's (sorry KFC lovers. You aren't considered in this at all. I can respect you for loving chicken as much as myself, but ... no thanks).

As a result of these jokes, I also heard a lot of "That's racist and it's not funny."

Well of course it isn't funny. It's sad that a food as heavenly as fried chicken has a racial stigma. I mean when you think about it...shouldn't other races or ethnicities be somewhat jealous?

Fried Chicken is heaven.

And yet, when I once mentioned how much I loved fried chicken in front of a group of people, I was treated as if I were telling a racist joke. I was a bit astonished. It's just chicken isn't it? Had I told them about the American Idol contestant I could have had a fight on my hands.

I am of the impression that when food becomes associated with forms of racism or racist behavior you have a problem.

I discussed this very topic in one of my classes today. We watched an episode of The Office, in which Michael does not understand why he can't tell a joke the same way Chris Rock does.

It was an interesting take on reverse racism. In a sense claiming that he is racist for repeating a joke (he does go over the top later on, but that is a part of the comedic effect) is in itself a racist act.

The fact of the matter is that racial sensitivity should be easier than we (Americans) make it out to be. Can we not simply acknowledge the facts of the past, and rather incorporate the lessons learned into every day life?

I realize solving great problems like these are not nearly this cut-and-dried, and that they will likely never be solved completely.

I snuck off a few days ago to get a snack...and started to feel like I was being judged by a few of the customers in my local Popeye's.

Today I realized what the problem was.

I get it.

Picture : (http://www.cardinalsw.com/Images/popeyes-family.jpg)

A Boyle So Perfect

So today I finally bit the bullet and watched the video of Susan Boyle on Britain's Got Talent the British version of American Idol. I don't watch Idol nor do I keep up with the British version, but the press has made such a fuss over this woman that I had to watch it.

And so I did.

I cried like a baby.

Here is this 47 year old woman, who has never been kissed, and she belts out a beautiful rendition of I Dreamed a Dream from the musical Les Miserables . The woman who "shut up Simon Cowell" seems completely genuine and quite adorable.

So why is one of the questions that Diane Sawyer asks her in an interview whether or not she will get a makeover?

I mean if she wants to...that's fine. But why is it that the media is so superficial?

Oh that's right...

Because we allow them to be.

If anyone wants to know why America's teenagers, young adults, and the economy is going to hell in a hand basket just take a look in the mirror folks. We have gotten out of the habit of appreciating the best things in life. Instead of listening to music about 'bitches and hos' (which I do like, but not all the time) from men and women dressed like sparkly disco balls maybe we should start appreciating a beautiful opera from a beautifully normal human being.

Miss Boyle, please don't change for us. Let us change for you.

Roadhouse Menu: Swayze Beefsteak

Flipping through the channels tonight I stumbled upon Roadhouse. It had been a while since I had seen it so I watched a little bit, and I have to say...damn that man can make a movie.

When I first learned of Swayze's cancer I was pretty upset. I mean it's Patrick Swayze. He is indestructible. It would be like Arnold Schwarzenegger having heart problems.

Oh wait...

But it is hard when an icon that is perceived as being indestructible suddenly becomes mortal. I mean what do you do? How do you cope?

Roadhouse is actually my second favorite movie of Swayze's. Here are my top five fave Swayze films:

1. Black Dog

2. Roadhouse

3. Ghost

4. To Wong Fu: Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar

5. Dirty Dancing

I decided to google Mr. Swayze while watching the film and I found out that he has an International Fan Club! And they put out a magazine!

As an aspiring writer, the thought of writing about this pop culture icon is...stimulating to say the least. But that's off topic.

Swayze's hot. He always has been. I saw him on a preview of his new show "Beast" and I have to say, the man is still extremely sexy...cancer and all. If anyone can beat the shit out of cancer it's...

1. Jack Crewes

2. Dalton

3. Sam Wheat

4. Vida Boheme

5. Johnny Castle

As Crewes, Swayze is a truck driver battling time bad guys, and the pitt-bull chained to his toilet in the trailer of his rig.

As Dalton...well...you pop culture fans know Dalton means business.

Sam Wheat overcame limbo to save the woman he loved and revenge his murder.

Vida Boheme beat the shit out of Stockard Channing's abusive husband.

And Johnny Castle saved a friend's life, awakened passion in a new dance partner, and just looked damn good without a shirt on.

So when a picture (have no idea if it was doctored) of Swayze showed up in the National Enquirer looking gaunt and emaciated...

I couldn't help but think of the golden haired mullet-god in Roadhouse. Or the inspiring cross-dresser in To Wong Fu...

Suddenly, I'm not so worried.

Pop Culture Cult...

I have decided to give the blog a more definite focus. I love pop culture, so I feel like that is what I should focus on.

When thinking about writing about pop culture, I decided to go ahead and look up the actual definition. I was actually a bit surprised at the answer.

According to Dictionary.com, Pop Culture, or popular culture, is basically patterns of human activity that give shit meaning.

That's it. I was looking for something deeper. But Pop Culture is really just a way of passing the buck when it comes to why people act the way they act...for example why people are SO infatuated with the octomom.

All pop culture boils down to is human nature. We like freaky things, freaky people, and freaky sex.

The focus of this blog will now relate to popular culture (which it kind of did already) and will look closely at how people act and why by analyzing text, videos...you name it.

So let's start talking about it.

In response to kittens...

Well guys (kittens) ... at least I didn't do this...

Click Here

Funny...but I would never do that.

Today's Question

I am currently on Accutane and am experiencing joint pain. It's awful stuff. Anybody have any healthy remedies for making my back feel better?

I Saved A Kitten Today...

...and he or she wrecked my car.

The cute little devil is a stray. I have seen it around the complex before and tried to catch it so I could give it a good home, but alas, it was too quick.

So I watched it dart between cars every now and then wondering where it was from, and where it was going.

So I am going to get in my car this morning, and unbeknownst to me, the little devil is curled up in a tiny little ball under the car.

I get in, and throw my bag on the front seat, and begin to slowly...and cautiously...back out of my parking spot.

Well the cute lil Kit-Kat under my car must have gotten scared (and rightfully so) and darted out from under the moving vehicle, which I happend to see in my rearview. This startled me and my reaction was to jerk the wheel (bad idea if I had been anywhere other than a parking spot)

I clipped the pole of the covered parking spots next to me, and then proceeded to watch as my front bumper smoothly peeled away from the front of my car.

It was almost beautiful...a little poetic even.

Now I could have freaked out, and there was a time in my life when I defenitly would have. But I didn't. The only thing I said was...

"Really?"

So I got up, got my sister, moved the bumper, and drove her car to school. I was proud of myself for not freaking out. I was proud of myself for saving the tiny 'lil' kitten.

But...as sad and selfish I can't help but think...

My car is ugly!

That makes me sad.

Carlton Banks Unplugged

Found this surfing the interweb. Have no idea what it's purpose is, but I'll be danged if it isn't funny.

Twitter Me This...

Does anyone Twitter on the toilet? Or blog? Someone answer my question!!!

Who will be the next American Hero

Move aside "Sully" ... there are some new kids in town.

After Captain Chelsey Sullenberger's amazing landing in the Hudson River this January, America saw something that she hadn't seen in a long time. Positive happy news reports.

CNN, Fox, and every other major television network plastered Sully's goose-driven miracle across front pages and headlines everywhere. He was an instant national hero, and was even present at the coin toss at February's Superbowl. America embraced this grey-headed US Airways captain as a member of the family.

But now he has competition.

This Sunday a miracle occurred. After days of being captive to Somali pirates, and one escape attempt, three U.S. Navy SEAL snipers helped free Captain Richard Phillips of the Maersk Alabama was freed.

Who would reign supreme in a battle of the Captains? Both men have illustrated that they can maintain calm in extremely difficult situations. Both men have lasting power. Could Captain Phillips overtake Sully's status as America's sweetheart?

And then today...something happened...

CNN reported that Doug White of Archibald, Louisiana landed a large "turboprop" plane after the pilot fell unconscious and died . While White had some piloting experience, he had no idea how to use any of the controls in the plane, and with the help of the "Lord" and the air traffic controllers he landed the sucker.

What do we do now America? We have three amazing men to be role models. Three All American heroes to be icons for our sons, daughters, nieces, and nephews!

I do not intend to make light of these situations or these men. But this is a wonderful opportunity for Americans to start focusing on the positive and quit dwelling on the negative gossip that feeds the media.

So let's focus on all three. Let's make these men, and other men and women like them the All-American Justice League! Let's befriend them on Facebook!

Let the hero worship begin...

Twitter Me This...

I am going to start asking twitter users a daily question. I don't know if they will make sense...but I will try anyway.

If you would like to answer today's question you can reply here or follow my Tweet and answer there!

Today's question is:

Is it still ok to use Mrs. or is it no longer used in the business world? Mom requires Mrs. but teachers require Ms.

Thoughts?

Turkey Soup

After Thanksgiving, Christmas, and for whatever other holiday that I demand Turkey...my mother typically ends up making Turkey Soup. It is a good way to use the entire bird, and the soup can be frozen for later dates when you feel like eating Turkey again.

After my foray into Turkey cooking this week (first time turkey virgin...that Bird was purty) I realized that I had half a bird left and nothing to do with it. Here is my mother's/my recipe for Turkey Soup...or Turkey Soupen if you want to get fancy with it. And it's HEALTHY!

• De-Meat the Turkey (technical term) and set aside: Should be 1/2 or 1 pound
• 36 oz (or 24 depending on how much meat you have) of Low Sodium Chicken Stock
• Chopped Celery: about 3 or 4 sticks
• Chopped carrots: about 3 large
• Chopped Yellow onions: 1 whole large
• 2 tsps minced garlic
• Bay leaf
• Basil (2 tsp)
• Salt (1/2 tsp)
• Pepper (1 tsp)
• Onion Powder (1 tsp)
• Celery salt (1/2 tsp)
• 1/2 Bag No Yolk Egg Noodles
  

Put the chicken stock, vegetables, and all spices in a large pot and let it simmer on medium until it boils. Let it boil for about 3 or 4 min and then add the turkey. Let it come back to a boil and boil 4 to 5 min. Add noodles and let it come back to a boil for another 5 minutes. Serve or let cool and then freeze.

This recipe also works by boiling a chicken in water with some whole carrots, celery, onion, and a turnip until the chicken is cooked. This will make your stock. Then take the chicken out, toss the veggies, and follow the recipe (excluding the use of chicken stock since you have already made it)
from there on.

I like my turkey and chicken in chunks, but mom likes to shred hers. It is up to you! The power is in your hands.

Hmm

Realized the title of my post is "Chicken Chicken...Neck" when I am talking about Turkey.

I'll let it stand.

Chicken Chicken...Neck

Well America, here is today's story.

So I'm roasting my turkey...

That's right. I roasted a turkey today...and I start feeling like I want a snack.

I had an apple for breakfast and I don't particularly care for plums, so those were out.

Wheat thins weren't doin' it for me...I wasn't feeling toast at all...and everything else in the pantry was too healthy to eat. It was as I was taking the boiling giblets off the eye (makes a good broth for gravy), that the revelation came to me. I figured why the hell not.

I plopped that turkey neck out of the broth and onto a plate...got a napkin...and tried it! I was surprised. It tasted...not unlike chicken. Once I forgot it was a neck, I was in hog heaven - or chicken as it were.

Not too shabby America...not too shabby.

I DVR'ed Twitter

Does anyone really know what Twitter is?

I mean I have heard that it is a mini blog...but I am just not sure how accurate that is. All these @yowchamagowcha and @mrsbocefus are confusing. I mean do people actually see it when you do all this crap? Or is it just for my own mindless entertainment.

Which I have no problem with if it is. My mindlessness constantly needs to be maintained. I find that King Baby and other comedy shows that I DVR on the television only take up about 10 hours of the day. The other two hours my brain needs something to not focus on!

Speaking of DVR...

Why is it that every time I watch a recording...I forget to fast forward the commercials. I don't particularly pay attention to any of them...but I have been trained to listen to the droning. I was really surprised when I first got the DVR a few weeks ago (yeah I'm behind) and realized how little of a television show is the actual show. Most of it is commercials.

I feel so used. It hurts.

Wait...that's dinner.

Someone start following this damn blog.

Please...

Missed Class

You know...I truly hate it when I miss class. It just feels like I am cheating for some reason. Its all because the "professors" have programmed us to think that missing classes that we are paying for is an egregious error on our part...and for that we must perish.

Except that it wasn't the professors that programmed me that way. It was my beautiful mother.

So now after 1 missed class, 1 full class, and 1 half class (I hate it when teachers do that too. It gives me too much time to go get a giant cinnamon roll and a fruit cup to make it seem healthier) here I am in the computer lab waiting for SBC global to let me log in to my e-mail account and looking at an e-mail of kittens and bunnies.

I just don't know if life could get too much more exciting. The only way it could was if George Clooney walked in RIGHT NOW!

Which he didn't. So oh well.

Eyeballs in my head

Man I did some serious micro-managing and multitasking this week. I think I finally learned how mother's become so knowledgeable in the ways of spying and ultimately seeing out of the back of their heads.

You get to the point where you are juggling so many things, efficiently enough, that at the end of it all...as awful as it was...you can't help but be ridiculously proud. It's like giving birth to a stack of reports, proposals, research papers, and query letters without the unwanted papercuts in your unmentionable area. I wonder why some people are so scared of becoming responsible.

I also wonder when exactly I made the full transition from being a good, albeit disorganized and lazy, high school student to a full fledged "Monica Gellar" adult. Like crazy organized and cleanly. It drives my sister bonkers. It probably isn't too healthy. Oh well.

I made it through the week though. I made it through the day even. And tomorrow is here. So I will go to sleep, and then get up and keep going. So is the rest of my life. Amen. Hooray.

Exhaustion

Everyone knows that point where they are totally exhausted...right.

And everyone knows when you push past it...and get to the point of total...floatsie.

Like that is the only way to describe it. Floating along on a cloud. Not a care in the world.

Almost killing yourself when you go to school because you can't focus while your driving.

Going to the old apartment after school, realizing you don't live there, and having to turn around after feeling like a total idiot.

I have never felt so tired in my entire life. Or if I have...I was so exhausted that I forgot it. After packing, moving, and catching up with homework after Spring Break I can honestly say that I have no more energy left. Yet I find myself pushing forward, applying for summer school, internships, and summer fellowships.

I can't remember when I became an over-achiever.

Packing and Moving

Isn't moving frustrating. Turning one world upside down in an attempt to create a new one.

You live there for about a year (if your in college) and then lo and behold its time to do it all again. 14 months the next time, and then off to a new city. Over and Over until you've become a packing guru.

Let's sit still awhile.

Spring Forward. Hold up?

Hold up.

Where the hell does that extra hour go?

I have been contimplating "spring forward" all weekend, and I have yet to make any conclusions. Apparently the whole idea is just so we have more light in the evening during Spring and Summer months.

As I perused Wikipedia's page on Daylight Saving Time, I was a little astonished. Its all about revenue people. How much we save without running electricity, how much 7-11 can make with an extra 7 week extension of daylight savings time, and how it can lead to an influx in medical revenue.

Apparently getting up earlier causes depression, and too many people stay in the sun and get skin cancer.

But basically, spring forward is so people can see. You have to be kidding. I go through, what can only be described as "serious body weirdness" every time the time changes. And for what. One measly extra hour of sun.

And where does the extra hour go? Does it just float around, waiting for October to roll around so it can come back and smack us all in the face?

Or do we loan it to the Chinese to produce more Mattel toys with chemicals laden with cancer inside of Barbie's bright little face.

Point is...there is no point. Spring Forward? No thanks, I like dark at 6:00 p.m.

Watchmen

I bought advanced tickets.

That's right I did it, I spent the extra two dollars and am not ashamed of it. I rarely do that with movies. The last movie that I bought advanced tickets to was the Dark Knight, and I'll be damned if I feel sorry about doing it.

After reading the Watchmen graphic novel during the Christmas holiday break, I was as excited as any 30 year old male geeko who had actually read the Watchmen graphic novel when it was first released. I went with my girlfriends to see the movie, and afterwards found myself startelingly...dissappointed.

It wasn't that the movie itself was bad. On the contrary. The actors themselves (with the exception of the skinny little white man that played Adrian Veidt) fit and portrayed their roles as acurately as could (does anyone think that skinny little stick dude could kick Patrick Wilson's ass?).

Rorschach was deliciously insane, Dr. Manhattan's penis was a little too blue for my taste but accurate nonetheless, and Laurie was disgustingly gorgeous. Everything appeared to check out.

The length wasn't too bad. I understood the reasons for removing the internal subplots to keep the movie from being 5 hours long. I understood the rhetorical effectiveness of the soundtrack.

So what was so bothersome?

I suppose in the end, some of the central themes didn't quite grab me. While Mr. Denny Duchette portrayed The Comedian quite well, the sense of humanity's ironic degredation that was interwoven in the subplots of the graphic novel didn't quite translate onto the movie screen. In the end The Comedian wasn't quite nasty enough. He wasn't quite sweet enough. His part in the plot just wasn't important enough.

I guess I just now realize that The Comedian is my favorite character within the entire story. He isn't the boyscout, or the brain. He isn't sweet and cuddly. He isn't insane either. He is brutal. He is honest.

He is the human condition at both its finest and worst.

"What has happend to us?"

"What has happend to the American Dream?"

"It came true."

- Nite Owl to The Comedian

Whatever happend to Dinosaur Cookies

Does anyone else remember dinosaur graham cracker cookies? They came in a green box that looked as if it had a scene from Land Before Time on it. Not Land Before Time XXXIV but the original. The only one of them that was ever actually worth watching.

I remember how much I loved those cookies. I mean really loved them. They were a deliciously simple dessert, and considering how often my mother let me have them, my guess is they were also relatively healthy.

What was so wonderful about the cookies was their unique taste. It wasn't that of shortbread or graham cracker but that of a hybrid. The density of a shortbread cookie with a flavor that was reminiscent of graham crackers.

It just reminds me of how simple things were when I was a kid. Everything had a place, and everything had a purpose. Those were my after dinner cookies and that is what they were. A treat. Now the lines are so blurred. What to eat, where to go, who to spend time with...they aren't as clearly defined as they once were. And while most days I can handle it, today wasn't one of those days.

Someone just bring me a cookie already.

The Golden Girls

You know...there's nothing quite as satisfying as watching a few episodes of The Golden Girls before drifting off to dreamland. Something about the girls are so soothing. As if your grandmother had her friends over and was rubbing your back to put you to sleep.

The girls have spunk. They have class and sass. They also come on at the most ungodly hour.

I used to watch the girls right after Fraiser on Lifetime Television Network for Women, but they have changed the lineup. Now they are showing Desperate Housewives after Fraiser, which is nowhere near soothing, but rather manages to ruffle my feathers and make me want to eat some ice cream. Couldn't tell you why. Perhaps its because looking at Teri Hatcher run around like a chicken with her head cut off makes me want to vomit.

Good news champs! If you too want to enjoy the magic that is Dorthy, Sophia, Rose, and Blanche then tune into the Hallmark Channel at night! That's where you can find them!

Kisses n Stuff.

Magazine Writing

Today in my Magazine writing class we did a fun little excersise entitled "Snuggie". We wrote some short articles for magazines that you likely would NOT find an article about a Snuggie in.

This was one of my greats.

You know the Girls Next Door! Hef and the girls have a secret. They LOVE the Snuggie! You’ve all seen the commercials, but you’ve never seen Snuggies like this before! When Hef and the girls go on a picnic, or perhaps decide to take a midnight swim down by the grotto, warmth is a necessity. Each have a Snuggie specially designed to fit their needs. Kendra loves the sage, while Bridget and Holly cherish the maroon. Hef of course has a custom made black Snuggie with the playboy bunny on the front. And don’t forget, while the Snuggie offers warmth and comfort, it also provides back door access!

I also had help from my lovely team members. Ms. Kathleen N. and Ms. Anne S.

Biography of the American Aristocracy...Except Not

Since the "About Me" section leaves much to be desired, I am hereby copy-and pasting a small biography I wrote in my Magazine Writing class.

Elizabeth Miller is a 21 going on 74 year old student at St. Edward's University, and is an English Writing and Rhetoric major with a minor in Political Science, which might as well be called nap time. Elizabeth grew up in the small East Texas town by the name of Lufkin, which is steeped in pine trees and is the county seat of Angelina County; a dry county until 2006 (a roaring good time). Due to her upbringing she is fond of the elderly because they are full of wise sayings, intolerance, and speak with brutal honesty and a little bit of acid reflux.

Elizabeth's heroes include her mother, father, and Bruce Wayne. She is an avid reader of both comic books and the bible...which actually resemble each other more than you might think. Elizabeth's rhetorical idol is Abraham Lincoln, whom she hopes to emulate one day by being an extremely tall motivational speaker. She has just had an amazing conversation with the man of her dreams, and she has decided that she would like her tombstone to read, "Here lies Elizabeth Miller. She preferred crayons to colored pencils".

An Excersise in Futility

After weeks of classes, homework, and sleeping I have decided that my future writing career would benefit from having a blog, which will serve as a daily journal of sorts. You, my readers, (what few I will likely have) will get to see the inner-workings of my mind and listen to me rant about whatever I feel like. Such as why Batman is infinitely better than Superman. Don't argue with me. He just is.

You may be wondering why you should pay attention to me at all, and I honestly have no real answer except that I am usually funny, and tend to have tiny nuggets of wisdom hidden deep within my perfunctory prose.

In case anyone wonders about my "Elizabethan" nickname, it was bestowed upon me at a very early age by my wonderfully cute father.

All in all, I have yet to really decide if I have anything worth saying, but I suppose we (I am at least forcing my family members and my sister's boyfriend to read this) will find out.